How long can i move on like this?

Mum: I heard that in any church, they would take 10% of what you earn every month.
Me: Ya, but you can choose to give or not to give. No one is forced.
Mum: So did you?
Me (Walking away): No.
Mum (Voice becoming distant): Told you not to believe so much already, and you still go every week, so ON for what?

I lied. So, how long can i move on like this?
I seriously wonder.

The change starts here..

Since the beginning of this year.. i sensed the difference in me.. i tend to get a bit less responsible and a bit more reliant on some things.. Still the main thing is that i grew, mentally.. accepting the harsh facts and cruel reality.. Things are no longer like fairy tales.. That's y i am so envious of my students for being so young with unlimited possibilities and endless wonders not yet explored.. Old.. thats how i feel haa.. oh well.. getting old, wise up a bit, get used to life or try getting used to life.. giving up on some things.. blah.. i talk crap..

the change has began, i know..

Lack.. Gain..

I lack of sleep.. seriously.. and my biological clock rings when its 7.30am.. meaning that i only sleep roughly 4-5 hr a day.. not enough~ Thinking of stopping tuition for the K2 student i'm teaching, to cut myself some slack from so much work.. Also thinking of not teaching music, kinda dumb since i don't really know music..

Yeah.. although i don't know how to take care of myself, i'm not getting sick or anything just tired.. Or maybe i don't have enough rest and food, especially dinner.. dotx.. Really surprised and overjoyed to have a nice supper after a HARD day's work.. Gan dong..~~~ Bleahx..

Good morning Mr Ng~

Had a powerpacked day ytd and its only the first day! kinda shocking because i only knew what to teach and a lot of other stuff on the day i report.. the class is huge~ 58 students arent easy to handle especially when they lose concentration easily.. There are some that distract the others.. Some interesting conversations i had with them...

Pupil 1 : Mr Ng, he say that i purposely throw his pencil box on the floor!
Pupil 2: No i didnt [ about to cry]
Pupil 1: That who says he saide that i purposely throw one..
Pupil 2: No Mr Ng [ Tears coming out..]
Me: Whether right or wrong, both of you are in the same class and should make friends with one another.. So both of you, i want you to shake hands and say sorry. Do not point fingers at one another. [ I thought i sound stupid]

Pupil 3: Teacher i brought money, can i buy my book later during recess? [ kids are still kids]

And after this tiring day in school, i had to teach tuition at 8pm.. A bright but playful boy who is very active.. He kept running in and out of his room and talking a lot of funny senseless stuff with me.. Dunno how much i can help him but i find it enjoyable teaching him.

Me.. A teacher? I'll see about that..

Year 2007

A new year began without a sign
All i can do is look back and sigh..

What have i done for the past year
Mistakes shall not repeat in this year..

Change myself to be a better one
Happiness is all i want..

Short term goals
1. New set of Ear-phone
2. A Good Laptop
3. If possible, new furnitures and oven.
4. New year shopping in Malaysia

Long term goals
1. Lose weight till 60kg, staying healthy
2. Go back to baking and brush up my skills.
3. Change my wardrobe.
4. Finish paying my tithes and building funds on time.
5. Be a more loving person and meet up more with my friends and relatives.

Hope i can be happier~

Good morning Class

Guess that will be what i'll be saying for the next 3 months, at least.. Needless to say, its my new job at Woodgrove Primary as a teacher. Sounds weird when people address me as Mr Ng though, gives me sort of a formal feel. I finally grew up.. Yeah.. few years ago i was sitting in the seat in class, learning and absorbing what the teacher has to offer.. or maybe even cursing and gossiping about the teacher. But now i'm one of them now.. Truly its a funny feeling..

Really want to thank God for giving me this job as a very nice NEW YEAR present.. hee.. Some time ago, i was actually angry with God for being nasty to me that He gives me things and then take them away.. first it was the TCC job + my fone lost on malacca trip and later a teaching job in Dunearn.. But now it all work out fine that made me believe that all things work for good for people who love God.. I got a job right on and starting work the very tomoro 04/01/07!!

bored

i'm bored real bored..

Fortunately i have friends.. to spend time with.. hee.. going Lot 1 now.. kinda feel that i forced someone there.. hope that its not that demanding or wad.. although i tink a bit.. =]

Eat to heart's content

Red bean and cream corn ice dessert w Durian topping

Mushroom swiss double
onion rings
french fries
chicken tender
coke light

hong kong char siew bo lo pao
pork chop and brinjal rice w shanghai sauce
mince meat cheese baked rice
peanut butter french toast
hong kong milk tea w grass jelly

yum yum..

Getting on with life

How weird can that be? We were all young before, been to primary schools, secondary schools and junior colleges, almost done with serving the nation, now what? Surprised that now i'm stepping out into the 'world' as an adult, a working adult and also an undergraduate. All my classmates/ bunkmates/ church friends are doing the same as well, but seems like the transition is kind of great to me. Stepping out into the unknowns where you now really rule your own life without the clutches of army laws and school rules. Wow! How fun is that?

Read ym blog about his contented life and how much he loves his job.. hope i'll be like that too, not only doing a good job, but to learn lessons and gain experiences on life, minus the bitching part.. hee.. Jia you!

Here I go Again

There's always a time for reflection for anyone and for any cause. Just read Ckblah's summary on how glad he is with what he has now and being contented with stable relationships, good friends, a job and sufficient rest time. I yearn for that too and perhaps, I have neglected them for quite some time. I haven't been visiting my grandma, feeling kind of guilty although the previous time I went Malacca I bought her pineapple tarts and Chestnut Biscuits. Maybe someday this month I should pop down and visit or ask my grandma and aunt and cousins out for dinner to celebrate my parents and my birthday on 15th or 16th.. hee..

I'm contented too, with a secured relief teaching job and also 2 tuitions on the way, seems like its gonna be quite busy for me next year but i'm not afraid, I believe that I can still make time for myself, taking this chance to improve on my weaknesses, turning them into my strengths, by the grace of God.

I'm gay, No.. I'm happy with my relationship and friendships. Found real happiness in every day's life is really like counting my blessings one by one. Life's never a bed of roses or not everyday is Sunday but guess I've lived everyday like a Sunday and made myself a bed of roses, being grateful and living each day a fulfilling and fantastic day. I will continue to stay faithful and treasure what that I've now. Will not let go unless people give up on me.

Well, I've been struggling with thoughts in my mind for the past weeks and i'm sure that I came up with my final decision on how the game is played. What the future holds, I don't really have an idea. But at least I like it now, this way, this pattern. Cheers!

Praise God!

Definitely need to thank God for this opportunity to step back into my graduated secondary school to teach. I can't imagine that yet but it is for real! I'm not going back to school to study or to visit my teachers, but to be their colleagues and to teach! Not just that, I'm teaching English for Secondary 2 and English Literature for Secondary 1. Wow! Now that I can earn money and also brush up on my English language before I step into University life. Thank God for this brilliant idea!

Not only this, I got blessed with 2 tuition cases this week, teaching a K2 kid Primary 1 subjects and also a Secondary 3 Physics and Chemistry. This is what I called blessed blessings~! I faithfully give onto God and God has blessed me back with so much more.. Hee.. Thank God!

Japanese Dessert's Food Fight

Ate at Ajisen @ IMM.. they have this new dessert selections similar to MOF at a lower price. Ate this special Macha Soft Serve with Seaweed Extract Jelly and Fruits with Red Bean Paste.. Taste really good when sweet dark sauce is drizzled over the green tea ice cream.. Red bean paste is not too sweet and delicious.. With mandarin oranges and peaches on the side. Main highlight is the Seaweed Extract Jelly that is said to be a dieting superior food.. Taste like normal agar agar with no sugar and dissolve more easily in the mouth.. The dessert also comes with mochi rolled in green tea powder.. Oiishii ne!

Back

having a super bad feeling over something.. dunno why..

had prayer meeting today.. haven't had such breakthrough praying for a long time. It was enjoyable to be in the presence of the LORD, praying in the spirit. After that was a fun time at Changi Airport where the group of us had our late lunch after the exhausting prayer meeting.. Then we popped down to Bras Basah only for a slice of Oreo Cheese Cake that is more creamy and fluffy than Cheesy and Oreoy, and tasted more like a lemon Cheese Cake.. Lol..

To my surprise which i dunno why, i'm into N162.. Pretty happy with the change actually that i'm back again.. but how abt sean and raymond.. hmmm.. i dunno.. hee..

Pic taken @ TCC on the night the multiplication news was announced.. Really feel that our friendship strengthened so much more after this separation that we grew to appreciate and treasure each other so much more.. Hope that we can continue to serve the LORD well and stay close with one another no matter where we are.. Let's trust GOD to bless this unique relationship between us..

Got to go

It has been almost a year since i've spent time in N162, my cell group. Was rather shocked to receive news in such short notifications that i am required to be transferred to another cell group by this weekend. Not that this is unexpected, but it happened too suddenly that i cant handle emotionally and mentally.

I love N162 a lot, some place i would be proud to be in. Whenever i invite friends for service, i will definitely introduce my cell group to them. This gives me a sense of belonging and also gives me something to communicate with my friends, knowing one another more. Remember being appointed the refreshment I/C soon after joining the cell group, tried making a lot of different food using eggs, bread and other ingredients. Something worth mentioning was the peanut butter french toast and fried rice, which were my first tries and i receive positive comments. They always encourage me when i make brownies, cookies or cakes, giving me advices and tips to make them better. I am grateful for them being so appreciative and that spurs me on for creating more delights.

It is only through this cell group that i finally open up myself, into confessing more of my problems and talking more with other people. I also learn to care and share with one another. It really edifies me a lot to love and understand people more.

Only recently, i've been told to be a helper to consolidate attendence for the people in my group and i volunteered to make the song sheet for the cell group. It might be tough and i often get stressed and depressed over it, i still managed to get them done and ensure that cell group meeting proceeds smoothly.

Just want to thank the CG for being so fun-loving and friendly.. My Jie mei = Raymond and Charlotte.. Leonard and Zihao for being such good brothers, Raymond filling me with lots of information on road directories, Jie Lin and Annie for giving advices and encouragements, and rest for being good company in the CG..

Gotta go.. Take Care..

Reflections

Been listening to queercast recently.. Talking about stepping out and coming out of the closet, it's not easy and requires a lot of courage.. I applause and salute people who are doing so, not just living life with a mask on, denying reality like it's a great sin and crime. Be cool and open about it..

Who has we to blame actually? Society? Or the people around us? More likely to be the people around us.. Afraid that they would persecute you and out you straight away, leaving you more depressed before the confession.. It hurts you and your loved ones, making things look awkward.. Its like, all the while you are fine and okay, till this piece of news break out of nowhere.. especially when lots of things are expected from you, respectable and highly looked upon on.. Although its sad, its the true cold fact.. Undeniably, i'm part of the people in disguise and disgust.. First few confesses are hard but certainly, as time goes by it shall be simplified in alot of ways..

Where am i??

***You Belong in Australia***


Ace!
Sunny, upbeat, and cute
You make the perfect surf bum
Now stop hogging the vegemite!


What English Speaking Country Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatenglishspeakingcountryareyouquiz/

This is so darn right!! Yep, i'm an Aussie!

Foolish things

Did some foolish things for the past week that even i have to laugh about it..

1) Hopping onto a bus hoping that it would bring me to where i want to go..
2) Roaming the streets of Orchard looking for food meant for the king!
3) Sinking my teeth into sinful delights
4) Eating so much pineapple tarts at night despite a severe sore throat.. [ Great! jus saw the doc cause it hurt too much.. ]
5) Losing a hp on the bus after taking a foto of a donut..

Wonderful Sunday

Time to blog about last weekend.. Gain a lb before book in on Thursday night.. Had COS duty and Guard duty simultaneously on Fri and Sat.. Very tired after that, but still, i went to church for Sunday service. Kinda surprised that i actually have 2 friends with me for service.. Cause i din really ask them but they approached me.. hee.. Really thank God for that.. especially when Stephen came and gave his heart to Jesus Christ.. glad that he actually came.. yeah.. now he can join me for service as well.. Praise God!

Here's some photos that were taken along the trip in KL/Malacca..

Back From M'sia

Could have been a wonderful and victorious trip haa.. except for the mishap that i had on way to Malacca.. Left my precious N70 on the coach and forgot all about it.. Coincidentally or bad omen is that i took a photo of a donut named 'happy' before i lost it.. and soon i become unhappy, brooding over the loss of my precious.. Not the value, but of its contents, messages and blah blah.. Love the fone alot actually.. But haiz.. after spending so much time (half an afternn) and money (Rm50 for taxi fare to the bus service workshop), and still it could not be found.. Ya its the careless me, as usual, got scolded by my mum and dad for that.. Things arent going smoothly somehow.. Feel down easily but till, there's lots of things to do and i seriously think i deserve another break again.. haa.. Cameron highlands?? hmm.. considering though..

Gotta go for dinner.. blog another time.. hee..

Happy Sin

Its just chocolates and sweets, filled with love, that really brighten up my day.. love it.. Though it is sinful and unhealthy, i shall not share with anyone else except..

It's the little things that people do that show that they care and love us, therefore we must be more appreciative towards the things that people do for us, specially for us.. Never take things for granted..

Yay!! Something amazing happened this morning.. All thanks to God.. At first i only have a friend, which is Jin Yao for service and i was really grateful le.. But this morning i received sms from ym that he has got a friend too.. somehow my heart got stirred and i sms another 2 friends.. Wei Kuan and Yuci.. And WK agreed to come too.. Thank God.. Yuci cant make it, but he agreed to come for Christmas.. Not only that, i already booked quite a lot of people for Christmas, looks like the love of God is really spreading, through us as well!