Interview with a Vamp!

Nah.. not another interview.. Had been going for quite a few interviews, whether if it is for jobs or scholarship. Today's one i don't know if i scored or failed. Weird, i just kept blabbering about my true thoughts regarding my stay in Woodgrove. Bombarded with many questions and at most of the questions, i used my own lousy English. =D

Any problems you encountered during your stay in Woodgrove?

(1) Students too noisy at times, may feel a bit helpless because my voice is drowned.. Solution to get them in the mood, either to listen attentively or discussion.
(2) A student named S tried to cut her wrist.. I blah...blah.. the form teacher blah blah.... attention seeker.. blahh.. she freaked me out and she has B.O.. (last part i kept it to myself)

If the principal challanged you to teach a technical class from sec 2, make sure they are well-behaved and produce good results at the end of the year, what would you do? What if they don't do well?

(1) Make sure i know them darn (save the darn) well, because that will make them feel important and has a sense of belonging that the teacher is making effort to know them. So that when they raise hands, i don't say 'you' and 'you' but by their names i call them.
(2) Instill discipline and emphasize on class rules. Always reward and praise the ones doing good and well to inspire the others to work hard in a competitve environment.
(3) Hold small group revision programme for weaker students by topics. The time is worth.
(4) There's a limit to what the teachers can do, so have to make sure the students are motivated to excel. Make learning interesting.

People like to try all the jobs and travel around the worlds and take teaching as last resort, but you are doing teaching first, are you going to travel around the worlds after a while then?

(1) I guess the passion and determination will bring me thru, its the students and satisfaction that motivates me.
(2) So that is why i would take this job.

What if you see your friends successful with money and nice cars blah.. living Paris Hilton lifestyle (they din say this) and you are stuck in this job?

(1) Be successful is not about living a luxurious lifestyle, its about setting your own goals and achieving them. That is what i call success.
(2) Even if you have a lot of money and living well off, you are not successful because you don't get satsifaction and happiness.

What are your plans if you do not get this scholarship? ( This has better not be a hint )

(1) I will still be majoring in chem and mInoring in Maths
(2) I will still go into NIE

Roughly like this, had never talked so much in this few weeks..

Chemistry

Just completed Redox tutorial, still can do but used quite a long time.. Needed to digest and recall the equations. Looked at the test papers i did in the past, wondering how did I ever managed to get past the A levels. Comparing now and the past, i see such a great difference. Now i don't really remember much information and details.. Empty headed i guess.. Hopefully after the relief teaching spent in PJC, i'll improve and get back to my initial standard. =] Mugging rox. I miss school.

Right oN

Was with Benji ytd.. Stayover at his house.. Were talking about him being a bastard when he initiated break-up after 2 weeks in a relationship.. Had to be much like a jerk so that the other party will not harbour any hopes about any chances.. But i thought that is a bit heartless though.. Also talked about people who can hide their feelings well and those who cannot express their feelings. The formal has a little advantage over the latter. So much for putting up a strong front.. i think i belong to both categories.

Interview is tomorrow.. Having a little cold feet although its not the first time.. Jia You! =]

It just feels stupid when you have high hopes for things to happen you know they will never. A pack of lies. I was a willing fool to believe in it. And it leads to this.. Bye. I am dead.

Worried

Wasn't feeling good today ( when do i ever feel good since that night? ), went out of the house leaving my sister and her friend alone in it, wasn't feeling very safe about that though.. to meet my mum to buy DVD portable.. Met at IMM, big place with very little shoppers, boring and boring.. After walking about for 1hr, we decided to take a cab down to ShengShiong to see more.. Unluckily took the cab at 5pm sharp.. extra 2 bucks.. not worth it.. Finally bought the player after another 45min, and she kept pressing me to choose what to eat out of so little choices, she din know that i hate to choose, reason being i hate the feeling of choosing the wrong things.. i would be angry with myself if i make a mistake.. So i told her i dun want anything and so we end up eating from the food court near our house..

Hope my sister is not like me..

bleahx

In another downest moments.. nothing's good.. woke up with a heavy head, falling sick.. or in fact i'm sick.. dunno what i'm doing.. go play mahjong and lost $110, although not my money.. think my skills are really bad.. just feel that i'm living in a surreal world.. saw a baby girl, becomes to my childhood playmate, she is like 18-19 like that and is already a mother. At first i was quite disgusted by the baby because she looked exactly like her mum and her mum's brother and her grandma.. All look the same one.. and her grandma is like my mother's age.. dotx.. my auntie was asking me to bring girlfriend to let everyone see if i have.. Can feel the pressure liao.. bet next year chinese new year must run.. But i want children haa.. so adorable.. was teaching my cousin how to do his maths.. fun..

to sum it up.. shitty..

HappY 21st biRthDay

3rd person this year is my class' prom king 21st birthday.. not a spectecular one but was a meaningful one, that i managed to see all my long lost jc classmates, at least talked a bit about what we're doing and our future plans. It felt so good to know that you've not lost them totally.. Were discussing abt birthday celebrations and realised that all the gimmicks have been used.. From chalets, settlers' cafe, home catered and buffet.. blah.. all used.. I was crapping that i just want to go to somewhere i like (yes, its australia!!) with my loved one ( however seems almost impossible le )..

No matter how i tried to fill myself up, the glass is still not full.. because there's already a crack on the glass..

Red Bean

Just something about myself.. I like to eat anything with red beans, especially japanese red bean. Remember once when i was in secondary 4, i wanted to have red bean soup for dinner (not really a rice person unless its flavoured). So i went to the dessert stall near my house (not there anymore, read more to know why) to get the soup. I realised that when i was given the soup it was taken out from nowhere. Nevertheless i bought it.. When i was drinking it at home, i realise that it was a little sour.. Yucks.. its spoilt.. threw it after after taken a few mouthfuls.. Don't dare to buy from dessert stall already..

Long awaited

Just talked to MR Tan, PJC here i come.. but only like next next week.. would be quite free.. need to find entertainment for the time being.. Yawnz..

Take a look

Taking a look at what have been happening.. A campfire at Saribum Camp, some weird place where i will never know how to get there.. Long time since i went for a campfire, love those days at OBS.. singing those happy campfire songs, having great adventures like rock climbing, jetty jumps and canoeing.. Also celebrated Zhi En's and Chin Keat's birthdays. For the formal one, we went to his house for a buffet dinner and it was a good chance for us to meet up and chit chat.. JS, Billy and I ended up the last guests leaving because we were slacking too much in the room, but it was a great time spent together. How i wish i have a birthday celebration like that, where i can invite my relatives and my dear friends over for a small gathering.. Its 21!! For the latter guy, its a small dinner at NYDC, enjoying good food and having small talks. Went for a bowling game after that, been quite a while since i bowled, glad that it was still not bad..Still can remembering years ago, during one of my birthdays.. dunno if it is sec 1 or sec 2.. my family and relatives, went for a bowling game late night after the celebration.. On one of my throws, not only the bowling ball went into the lane, i slipped and fell with it into the lane.. the lane is oily and that is why i went like a third of the lane.. That was so embarrassing.. and i cried very badly after that.. Din really touch bowling until last year.. lol..

Pretence

Sickness attacks when you are healthy and strong. It doesn't hurt much. But when relapses come, it attack you when you are recovering and weak, it kills and destroys you.

Ugly Fudgy Betty

Watching the 1st Eps of Ugly Betty, a typical simple character trying to work in the classy environment. She doesn't seems to fit in the magazine firm but is willing to do anything to stay in work. At least she is someone who is impartial and dares to do things she think is right. I was quite upset when she was humiliated as she was asked to cover a model during a photo shoot, where she wears a tight leathery outfit. Good people always have to go through such misery.. =[ Anyways, i love those blue eyes.. hao mi ren wor..

假裝

呼吸著一種孤獨的味道
心跳在你沉默以後慢慢的被淡忘掉
我笑了笑　反正你看不到
我要的幸福　遺落在你懷抱
當愛失了焦　那些最初的美好
早被妳擱在一角
街上擁擠人潮　走著看著都是摧眠符號
記憶停不了　穿過讀你的心跳
穿過想你的味道　我只想不被打擾

假裝多好　我只要　只想要　再擁有一秒
去相信你的擁抱　一直會讓我依靠
繼續等待　心甘情願不想逃
假裝多好　依然是　依然是　曖昧的tone調
一個人無理取鬧　兩人世界的煎熬
我被自己困在自己設下的圈套

像是駝鳥　相信時間是唯一解藥
視而不見　傻到了無可救藥
其實早明瞭　你的愛已隨風飄
想要找　再也找不到

Was watching the mtv of Jolin's 假裝.. A story about a relationship that ends terribly and they still have to ignore one another and pretend they did not see one another at all when they meet.. Although one party is still clinging on to the love, the other wants freedom and wanting that is not betrayal. Ending of the story.. doesn't matter..

whAt's wRong?

I think i'm fine.. I just dunno what i want.. Now that the reason why i chose this path is completely gone, i dunno what's next for me.. Choices, yes there are.. people who expressed interest in knowing me, or some just know me too much that they are just waiting for me to change the path into theirs.. I'm dumped into the same section called 'unwanted'. I guess life's like this, when things are really gone, you hope that it didn't happen and regret and remorse over it. Just like i thought people around me aren't supposed to grow old and die.. Naive and childish isn't it? Sometimes I just dun want to be myself for a while to laugh at myself for being pathetic..

Seems like Gram is sick and his age is showing up.. Heard that there are murmurs from his heartbeat.. Canfeel how it will hurt us if anything happen to him.. He's part of our famly..

Bleahx.. Hope Life just gets better =]

孙燕姿 - 逆光

Amount of money cheated: US$10,000
No. of days she went headlines: 3 Days
No. of days Capitol went headlines: 1 week
No. of times Mr Sng spoke: 1
Watching Sun Yan Zi running towards the pyramid singing this superb song: Priceless

Kudos to Sun Yan Zi.. This music video is awesome..

De jAvu

Been there done that.. Life should be better.. But suddenly i think i have made a U-turn back to where I started.. Even when i thot its all over.. Wadever.. I am full of hope..

Dunno if i should start driving again..

Uncertain of my new job.. Are they calling me yet?

Interview with MOE.. how to prepare..

I wish, time goes back to after BMT, love those times.. life was much simpler then..

3 months

3 months is not too long, not too short.. Enough for a relationship to bloom and die off, enough time for a school term, and enough time to learn something new.. Will i be able to wait for another 3 months? Hopefully i can wait till the end of May.. Hee.. Cant wait for this new change.. Should be exciting..

Yesterday, I just suddenly feel like cooking lunch so i went off to buy some groceries after a run..



Had prawn pasta with mushroom cream sauce and a glass of orange juice. =]

Hi-i~!

Yesterday was a fruitful day i believe.. I taught tuition, went over to Zhi en's house to help him and CK to do some videoing and had some not so bad food at Ghim Moh.. Time passed really quickly that i din even noticed that i've spent half a day at his place.

The end product, i find it amusing and interesting.. Maybe because i know them then i would find it this way.. Maybe when the 'judges' are looking at it, they might be thinking 'what the heck'.. Haa.. But i like it anyway..

Went JB with ber for a shopping trip getaway... Seems like this is my only day out for a holiday.. sounds pathetic but thats very true.. Watched 'Charlotte's Web' thinking that its a heartwarming and touching show, teaching us to learn to act out of love, kindness and not be selfish towards people around us. And that promises are to be kept, even when you have to sacrifice.. Admire that friendship between Wilbur and Charlotte. Hee.. And i bought myself some clothes and received something as a gift.. Was at Causeway Point and decided to make a call to Daryl's Mum since she emailed me her number. And she and Daryl got something for me.. So grateful and happy when i see them.. Hee.. They got me a shirt and a handphone accessory with my name, plus a thank you card.. Feel darn good when students are doing well and they are appreciative of what you have done for them.. =]

Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend

Cool! Avril Lavigne rocks again with this new song.. Get rid of your girlfriend and take me is the attitude of this song.

Supercar - Be [PV]

A bloody yet amusing video about kicking balls =]

unbelievable

do not write or sign anything without thinking, especially in the army.. Just received a call from 40, the RQMS Warrent Ang asked me to pay up for the handset which i lost last year in India. I wrote the statements even when i did not lose it. And it has been 1 year, that he finally received the statements and the case is already closed, and he called me to pay up $15 for paying a part of the handset price. Darn! I wrote that because master chan was so irritating! i was quite scared of him oso at that time.. Now i see $15 flying away even when i want to start scrimping and saving.. Dotx..

ended

My duty @ Woodgrove Primary has ended.. Some part of me tells me to go and leave at a small achievement that i have, leaving at a high note.. But some part of me tells me to stay on and work there, since i have enjoyed myself each and every day when i was there. It was really a wonderful experience with 3E.. i cant bear to part.. So do some of my students.. especially when i was told that daryl cried when he told his mother that i was leaving.. din noe that i wud make such an impact on these kids.. Facts are still facts.. I have to leave either the class or the school. So i have decided to leave the school.

Meet the Parents session

It was both winnie and my first time addressing parents in the school.. Especially me who is not a trained but relief teacher. So she has prepared some slides and will talk regarding their CA1 performances and also what we have been doing for the past 3 months with the children. When English had been covered by Winnie, she passed the talking to me for math, so i gladly took over and was getting a bit of scared when talking to adults, as in people who are more senior than me (hey they have kids already!) The feeling is worse than an interview. So i started with math and going thru the points in the slides frantically. Meanwhile, a parent who was leaving asked Winnie for a few minutes.. So i was left alone with the class of parents.. So when i was done with math, i was like 'Oh shit', wad am i supposed to Do? =X The 'clever' me thinks that the best way was to continue to Science and basically talk cock throughout for that.. and thank god, she came back when i was at the last pointer in the Science slide and managed to elaborate from the that point back to the first point.. How ma lu it was..

After the terrible start, we went on to the QnA where parents can bombard and drown us with their questions.. I was rather pleased that some of them talked to me regarding my teachings.. They commented that i was quite good at teaching math and their children can even explain how the models are drawn clearly and how it helped to solve the question. The compliments really make me feel more motivated to mould young lives, realising that all that i have done, all the expectations, all the late nights, all the frustrations were all worthwhile. Apart from fun and fulfillment, there was friendship too. Arrgh.. love my job and students so much.. =]

where did the $$ go?

Feel like i've grown up, first time buying something so expensive without parents' permission and all were from my own pocket. I earned it from relief teaching. All the $$ went into it.. My new All-in-1 printer and my new MACbook.. Shiok! Was wo-ahing and wowing when the printer was printing some worksheets for my tuition kid. Now i have to wait for the MACbook to complete charging and i'll be all set to explore it. Cant wait to set my hands on it.. It is so.. white and beautiful..

And due to the big hole in the account, i gonna scrimp and save again for the next.. dunno how long lar.. just gonna be a bit more careful with my money from tomorrow onwards.. Haiz.. wonder when i am going on a holiday or wad.. still need some sort of relaxation though..

dunno where am i

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dqmSdivQVw

nEw hope

life isn't always smooth and steady.. but somehow i found a new direction of life.. to love and pamper myself much much more.. and also getting to know more friends.. Not just friends, but good relationships. =D

Now that i'm a bit treated like dirt, i should have woke up earlier.. although i was once helpless and still feel alone sometimes.. at least now its not most of the time le..

New plans new directions..

- Might now want to start new work so soon.. Want to tour first.
- Weight loss session starts.
- Enjoy myself while I can before Uni life comes in.

...:SAGITTARIUS:. The Sexy one *

Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships.
The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet.
Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet!
Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna with you might end up crying.

Make me sound so amazing.. But then of course, i was the one who ended up crying.

1.42am

So late.. teary and lonely.. thinking of u..
thought i have moved on.. still happily tell people that i'm perfectly ok..
But it just comes.. How come time cant go back to 10/11?
That first impression, that flow of love and passion?
Arghh..

Well then

If i'm not ok, doesn't mean you'll take me back or change anything. Shldn't talk to you at all since i'm still so unsettled.. People say i look sad when i thought the cover-up was good. Finally realise the true meaning of the song 'Ting bu dao'.. still miss u..

gathering happiness from other aspects.. working well till now but how long does it last?

...

remember blogging that i dun wan to blog anymore.. but sadly no one is there to take my woes. I feel so lonely now.. hoping no one will see this anyway..

I've been good.. i know i have.. i put in all my love, care and concern and that nothing else is more important, i am loyal, nothing could have gone wrong.. now i start to think whether i kanna rebound again.. but why is this happening to me? i feel so innocent.. there's a lot left untouched, left undone, left stranded..

u know i'll be upset.. so why must u do this to me? just screamed at my sis.. i'm losing myself as well, my life is screwed, messed, think nothing worse can happen.. no one care.. rejected and dejected..

everything u said have becomes your lies.. can we just forget abt everything and start again? will u take me back? i cant take it.. pretending that i'm alright when i see people although i'm not.. i'm strong, remember.. got to take up the burden of the only son and stuff.. but i'm really weak.. deep inside, i'm nothing.. i'm really not strong enough to fight this..

think i lost interest in everything else.. can just sit and rot and die.. cant sleep.. time comes i need to call.. really hate myself for being so alike to jac..

i hate myself.. why din i learn how to say what i feel.. why do i always keep quiet and let things happen?

i miss u.. i really do.. dun think u'll feel the same.. haiz.. my happiness is short-lived and my misery has just started.. i cant take it, can u take me back? although i sound cheap.. but just let me continuing loving u pls.. arrgghh..

found that i got stuck at a corner, end of me..

End of blog

Hurt too deep, never gonna heal..

No more blogging for me.. nothing is ever real and ever lasting..

i'm a loner.. leave me alone..

Pretence..

I remember one line from the movie 向左走向右走 that was said like this, " I am just like a person without the shadow on the ground, so lonely."

Never felt that close to that before. Devastated.

Time will tell.